Do You Feel Forsaken By God?

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And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? (Matthew 27:46)

I was reading a blog post about how we sometimes feel forsaken by God and I could relate to it so much. From the above scripture, we can hear the anguish in Christ’s cry from the cross. Are you at that point where you feel God is far from your situation?

I have felt that kind of despair in my own life. Though God will never literally forsake me, I have felt forsaken, abandoned, betrayed by those I loved. I have questioned where God was in my pain — I have wondered what good could ever come from my suffering. Because of the cross, we who have felt that pain, who live with unanswered questions and sleepless nights, can unreservedly rejoice at Easter. Out of the worst evil imaginable, the sinless Son of God on the cross, God brought about the greatest good ever known.

FEELING FORSAKEN

Easter is a stunning reminder of Genesis 50:20, that what man means for evil, God means for good. In my own life, through the lens of Scripture, I can see that God has brought the greatest good out of the hardest events. But I say that in retrospect. At the time, none of my suffering felt even vaguely positive.

Sobbing by my dad’s casket was devastating. Suffering from my first heartbreak, dealing with abuse, getting rejected, trailing that paper,not getting that scholarship, not getting that admission, hearing the doctor give that diagnoses about my back, and then watching it happen, was agonizing I could go on and on but…

None of those trials felt redemptive. None of them could be celebrated. None of them even made sense. I never could have imagined that God would bring something beautiful out of my pain. I felt that my pain was deforming me. That I would forever be marred by it. I was sure my best years were behind me — before “this” happened. When I laughed easily and often. When I wasn’t burdened with the memories of all that had gone before.

PAIN DEEPENS US

And yet somehow, even in those horrifying trials, God was doing something. Something extraordinary. Something I could not have planned or foreseen. He was doing something in me that could not have happened any other way. It was strange and beautiful — wonderful and unexpected — the handiwork of God.

Out of the most crushing pain and terrible despair, God was bringing glorious triumph.

Instead of deforming me, my pain strangely deepened me. It increased my capacity for God. And for joy. It made me see the world through different eyes. Eyes of faith and not eyes of hopelessness. It helped me recognize that what I was going through was just a snapshot in time. One day my life will be totally transformed.

DOES EVIL WIN?

While my circumstances will undoubtedly change one day, what changes most profoundly in my suffering is me. The very struggles that I thought would break me are what God used to purposefully shape me.

That shaping did not happen instantaneously. It took time and trust. At first it seemed like nothing was happening — nothing but disillusionment and defeat. It honestly felt like Satan was wrecking my life.

Similarly, to the disciples on that terrifying Friday, it must have seemed like Satan was victorious. Their Savior was crucified. Their dreams were dead. Their hopes had unraveled. Maybe evil really had won.

And then everything was silent for two long days. It may have seemed like nothing was happening — nothing but disillusionment and defeat. But in the wisdom of God, when life looked darkest, it gave way to the dawning of the purest, most brilliant light.

GOD MEANT IT FOR GOOD

Easter Sunday reminds me that God’s perspective is infinitely greater than mine. Much of what is really happening is unseen. While it may look otherwise in the moment, Satan will never be victorious and evil cannot win. God always has the last word.

What Satan means for evil, God means for good. Always.

So if you feel forsaken and have no idea where to turn or what to do, trust that God is using that very struggle. If life looks like a hopeless mess and every day is a fight to survive, trust that God will one day gloriously prevail. And when he has, when you are on the other side, trust that God will have done an incomparable work in your soul.

Then you will have learned how to rely, truly rely, on God who brings beauty from ashes — brokenness. Your life and walk with him will be more beautiful than you ever imagined. And somehow, through your pain, you will be transformed. And when you are, when you see how God has changed you, you will never want to go back to the way you were before.

Take comfort in your pain that the Father did not exempt Jesus from the test of being allowed to “feel” forsaken. It’s key to understand that God didn’t cause it – God allowed it — for our redemption (our good)

Yes – there may be some “questionable times” where you may have quit … but jump back in the battle of trust and keep on fighting!  Jesus will never quit helping you fight your cross battle.  He didn’t die for you to lose.  He died to make certain you would stay enlisted in His army of overcomers. 

You will understand that nothing can thwart God’s plans for you. What now appears to be evil will result in your eternal joy. 

I pray the staggering triumph of Easter falls afresh on you in Jesus Name. Amen

He is RISEN henceArise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.” (Isaiah 60:1)

Stay Blessed!

 

EMBRACING MY TRUTH

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I didn’t quite choose the path of obedience, talking my way out of every situation especially when these little fears creep up. Walking into every gathering self consciously, wondering if that stare was for me, don’t be deceived I wasn’t so confident. I remember being in a rush to have a taste of what being a “grown up” was like — experimenting things that didn’t leave me chaste, bad decisions so I dealt with them by covering up.  A few boy issues that I didn’t quite deal with properly, carrying the luggage of verbal abuse as a reminder but on the contrary that is too burdensome.

Had my fair share of struggles and still growing through them just like going through the wilderness so I’m guessing all I need is endurance. Trying to be the light but the guilt from the past and insecurities stare at me in the face — and there is my circle of people with their huge “expectations” of me — seeking validation. Perceiving myself to be so broken why will God even use me? I’m so messed up He can’t use me. Grace? Yet in the midst of all this I am still battling with Trusting Him…How do I do it?

Then comes “Destiny” revealing God’s original intent for bringing me forth. That underlying question we all have deep down inside. The mystery that unfolds His purpose for my life. But didn’t they say faith comes with being CHOSEN; If He called me to it, He’s going to bring me through it right? Hence I can no longer live in my feelings anymore; to do or not to do things just because I feel or do not feel like respectively. How uncomfortable am I willing to be for God? Beyond Emotions?

Truth is it might just be me and Him in this season thus anything that threatens to drown me from hearing from God or distract me from what He’s doing I must be willing to do away with(cut off). I don’t want to be counting on people to give me something I know only God can give — I might as well endure the stretch that comes with growth. The confusion that comes with the process — it is all coming together.

I can’t meet everyone’s approval before igniting the flame that God is trying to spark up in my life. Perhaps I don’t necessarily need people’s validation in order to be authentic but I actually need God’s hand on my life and His voice so that I can be everything He wants me to be and all I need is my willingness to yield. I don’t need to live in the parameters of my insecurities any longer. I have all the strength it takes “He gives power to the weak, And to those who have no might He increases strength” (Isaiah 40:29) So I’ll survive again, and again, and again — perhaps each time I survive, I may be teaching someone they can survive too by trusting God.

Willingly taking the path of being uncomfortable for God, to sacrifice, taking up that cross – without giving up to the end. Insights about my purpose will open through this stretch.

Hope of a Life Spent With You.

BROKENNESS

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Often times when we hear the word “broke” our minds go straight to an empty pocket or something that loses its whole form and is in pieces or shattered lol not forgetting broken heart. But let’s do this together; imagine yourself holding a wine glass filled with wine and then in a blink it slips from your grip and it lands on the floor, how does it look? Broken pieces of glass right? Does it still look like the glass you want to drink from? So then my question is, does it mean you and I must look like the broken glass?

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;  A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise. (Psalm 51:17)

I believe brokenness has to do with God’s way of using trials, challenges, agony, pain and toil to reduce our outer man (canal man) in order for our inner man (spirit) to be renewed. Using myself as an example during my first year in school I used to find ways and means to run away right after service not that I wasn’t a Christian or a believer of the things of God but on that faithful Tuesday service of which I remember so vividly Ps. Jeffery Preached on Brokenness and as I sat in church I wondered to myself “was I broken?” Before service ended I believe I came to an understanding of what it meant to be broken; something just broke within me and I wept for several hours as to why I couldn’t find the right words to explain it and all my attempts to stop the tears failed my roommate back then described it as ‘weird’ yet there was this inner peace I felt.

Whenever someone said they lost a parent or a close relative I didn’t know how they must have felt till I experienced it myself; hearing of my dad’s death a few minutes before writing my research methods paper my legs went numb. Something broke within me cause anyone who knew the relationship I had with Him wondered if he was married to my mum or me yeah we were that close, well life sucks sometimes. Since then every situation or challenge I found myself in I believed, God like a farmer was tendering my soul like a plant for growth ( Honestly I didn’t know the significance of all the trials up until now). During these times I had some unanswered questions “1. Can God only bless someone after he hurts the person deeply, 2.Must I necessarily be broken before I can see God’s glory, 3. If he is truly God why cause his Child to suffer pain countless times?”

“As for you, son of man, groan with breaking heart and bitter grief, groan in their sight. ”And when they say to you, ‘Why do you groan?’ you shall say, ‘Because of the news that is coming; and every heart will melt, all hands will be feeble, every spirit will faint and all knees will be weak as water. Behold, it comes and it will happen,’ declares the Lord GOD.” (Ezekiel 21:6)

This scripture makes me realize that, God actually is not directly involved in hurting any one but, He often allows us to go to the depth of what we often want most in life; than to wait for His Divine Will. After we hurt ourselves countless times because of our pride, God reaches out to us by His Grace and Mercy to raise us back to the place of blessings He had predestined our lives to be before the creation of the world. Wow! Do you know what this means? This means that being broken by any circumstance life brings our way is useful in the sense that God will use them to magnify you. coming to that point of truth that in-spite of your flaws or brokenness God can still make something out of you

  1. So he said to them, “Out of the eater came something to eat, And out of the strong came something sweet.” (Judges 14:14)

So I’ll conclude by saying going through challenges doesn’t mean God is wicked but rather you enduring and prevailing through that pain and agony is a good report and a sure testimony. Hence nothing should reduce Christ in you. Instead holding onto His hands, standing strong and not comprehending. Brokenness shouldn’t leave you broken but rather it should be a phase that prepares you for restoration. Your moment of brokenness or isolation can serve a good purpose yes people may not want to associate themselves with you but trust God through that phase and press on… Father I pray for anyone who comes across this post and is hurting in one way or the other due to one challenge be it the loss of a loved one, a broken heart, loss of job, financial debts amongst many I pray you grant them grace and mercy to enable them go an extra day without giving up on themselves or their faith in you in JESUS NAME…AMEN

PLEASE READ & MEDITATE ON HEBREWS 11, LUKE 4:18  AND PSALM 18 :29-36 GOD BLESS YOU AS YOU DO SO.